"Grande Benfas ham?!"

(God calling to earth)

Beep…beep…beep…beep

(Atende um adepto fervoroso…na TV ao longe ouve-se ”Benfica volta a ganhar…e os adversários voltam a perder”)

“That ain't right!!! Am i right or what?? They say that Benfica is a little peace of shit...Benfica don't deserve..."blá blá blá wiskasaketá"...well…i think….they are the “real deal”...where are they? 3rd? 4^th place???* so what??? i don't give a shit!! I really don’t give a shit. Who would I give a shit to? To you?? Really??? Are u sure?!? Ok, I’ll give a lil mini tiny shit! * lê-se “shet”o “e” é muito importante!!!

Just to make sure that you all understand...Benfica is the best because...Benfica is Gloooorious…u know?! That’s right “mo fos”…GLORIOUS!! *lê-se GLOU…LOU tá vê? Entre o O e o U existe tipo um mambo que sobe e desce, tá vê? Pra dar o ênfase… yah….GLOURIOUS.

It's like…God…u know…GOD...the GOD… was in the “bathroom”…upstairs…in the heaven…you know…His home I supposed...Just chillin’…with a pipe’ probably …basically doing the “things” that He does usually…and then…and this is the important part…He look through the window…and in the other side…He sees…

(He wasn’t sure of what was He seeing… because…because…you see…hum…yeah, that’s right… He was high!? What you thought the pipe was for? Climbing a mountain? …so what!? He is GOD, “i God” everything…that’s right, bitchies! And…He’s a perfect human being when comes to weeds and all kind of drugs that He usually do but it’s another story…as u may know)

but what He saw…hum…hum...hum...my friends...let me tell you…was just so…peculiar…so…hairs……shape…….kindness……..forgiveness…“truz truz…knoc knoc”(iMEAN ...SACRIFICE)!!!

He realizes - “OMG…I got to do something” (na lingua dele)…and that’s when He makes the weird gesture ("don’t ask, don't tell")

”Aagh” (He “thought” inside)…and then HE said…LOUD AND CLEAR…

”Quê queis estáis hacendo aki jéssssssus? Tu tiennes que ir para Tiieeeerraa…Portugaleeeee…Benficaaaaaa… vamooossss arribaaa arribaaa, e leva la VITÓRiA contigooo” (e o outro pensa, “hei a vitória não que a vitória é uma put*, não…agr aserio, come on…”) and yes…yes…He was talking to the Jesus...yes...THA' JESUS and…wait for it…waiiit for it…

(because Jesus is dead right?! Or were… I mean…he were in the heaven right? …just chillin’ with the Almighty and all the others souls and angels and VIRGINS and Vikings and dinosaurs and all the victims from Haiti, and…but…still…in the heaven right?! So…am i right, or what? Ok then…)

He sent Jesus…a few years younger of course but…He sent HiM…you know…HiM… to take care of them. That’s right “mo fos”…And by “them” I mean BENFICA just in case you all mowrongs didn’t get the PICTUREEEEE by now.

They are just like...T U L I P S…yeah that’s right…TULIPS… in the middle of the whatever the fields they call it nowadays...u know...but it's a beautiful thing…all green…because is a field you know…and all red because “wine is divine”… it’s awesome…fantastic...wonderful…pure magic...so…

Now that I REALLY…really have your attention…even if you are a hater my brother…even if you are a HATmotherfuckin’ER…come on “brotha”…say it…you will feel free:

EU SOU BENFICA!

(God askin’ himself what a f*ck just happened but still polite…)

“Sollo Benfica?!?" (coff...coff)

(Click)